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Tuesday, 21 November 2017

Deal with your anger before it deals with you

Dwelling in anger is terrible; allowing anger in the form of what we call 'hot temper' to control you is even worse. You have every right to get angry every now and then, after all you’re human. But the problem starts when you allow your anger to override your sense of reasoning and becomes really serious when you can't stop yourself from acting rashly on the slightest provocation. The bible advice's us on anger in Ephesians 4: 26-27.

The results of acting rashly when angry are too severe for you to continue living in anger. A lot of marriages have crashed, loving partner turned abusive all because of anger. Having self-restraint is very important. Most times, you tend to regret your rash actions after you've calmed down. If you find yourself in this kind of situation, don't lose hope. You can still deal with that hot temper of yours and be free if you are ready to take the outlined necessary steps.

·         Be genuinely born again: This is the primary and most important step in curbing your anger. The fact that you go to church every Sunday does not make you a born again child of God. To be born again means to believe Jesus Christ died for your sins, to ask him to come into your heart and be the lord over your life and to decide to serve him for the rest of your life. It may seem really simple, but it’s a great mystery. The bible says once you are born again the old you passes away and you become a new man/woman. It means that the old you with hot temper issues has passed away and in his place is a man that has the Holy Spirit to help him in time of weakness (anger).
·         Acknowledge your anger; admit that you have anger issues. When someone offends you, don't just keep everything locked away and pretend to be fine. If you can, talk to the person who offended you after you have calmed down.
·         Seek professional help; engage the services of a counselor or you talk to a senior/trusted friend about your issue. They say a problem shared is a problem half solved. Don't feel ashamed about it, everyone has a weakness and yours happens to be anger.
·         Consciously hand over your anger issue to God in prayers; tell your father your problem and ask him to help you. The bible says his strength is made perfect in our weakness. Remember when you ask, believe he will do it. Matt 21; 21-22. Keep asking until you realize that anger no longer has a hold over you.
·         Restrain your anger; this may seem hard but it’s very important. Don't allow your anger to consume you and make you act without thinking. Set up ground rules that can guide your actions whenever you are angry. Instead of yelling, hitting and thrashing when you get angry, why not walk away and take some minutes to calm down. Also thinking of what Jesus would do if he were in your shoes can help you restrain yourself. Remember as Christians we are to act and be like Christ.

Saturday, 28 October 2017

Why am I still single? Five questions to ask yourself.

I am of age to get married, I am financially stable; why am I still single? This question often run through the minds of Christian singles. You may think you are ready but there are some little things you tend to consider as unimportant during your time as a single. Those little things can hinder or delay your marital destiny. My prayer for you is that God gives you the wisdom to make amends as you ask yourself these questions.
·         Are you marriageable? I stumbled across an article some time ago and the writer asked a question that really struck me hard. His question was ‘can you marry yourself?’ Take a moment to think about this question. As a lady if you were a guy would you approach yourself and build a long term relationship with you? Same thing goes for a man. Search yourself, what are those habits you engage in that are repulsive to others, work on them. No man wants to marry a nagging women or a gossip likewise no woman wants to marry a hot tempered or lazy man. Keep fit, don’t just eat anyhow. Godly men/women make use of their eyes too so dress well.
·         Are you spiritually mature? Do you have a personal relationship with God? How sensitive are you in the spirit? God is not going to lead his son to a lady who will run him down spiritually. You need to consciously take out time and grow your relationship with God. Find out how God leads you, it will come in handy when making important decisions as a married man/woman. If you don't know how God leads you, you may end up missing your God ordained partner. Spiritual maturity doesn’t just come overnight, it takes commitment, hard work, and discipline to grow in the spirit. Get serious with God so that he can lead your spouse to you.
·         Are you serving God in words or in actions? The bible in matt 6; 33 talks about seeking first the kingdom of God and every other thing will be added to you. Are you a church goer or are you working for God. My pastor used to say ‘if you work for God he will work for you’ God is not a user of person and he rewards service in his house. If you want God to set to work in your marital life, then start working for him, serve him with your money, your time and your energy. Join a service unit in church, go out for evangelism, and pray for the salvation of souls. Your time as a single brother/sister is a very good time to serve God because you have few things to take care of. Don’t just claim to be a Christian, prove it.
·        Have you discovered your purpose? Every man/woman has a purpose/reason for existence. It is your duty to discover your purpose, that unique thing God created you to do. God has specific plans for your life and it is in your best interest to follow them. As a man, remember God created the woman to be your helpmeet; i.e. to help you fulfill purpose. Therefore what will a woman come to help you with when you haven’t discovered your purpose? As a lady, finding your purpose and working with it places you in the company of like minds for divine connection. Go back to your creator and ask him what he created you to do. Working in line with your purpose shows your readiness for marriage.
·        Are you living a pure/chaste life as a single? Sexual immorality is evil; it is the only sin that is committed against your own body 1 Corinthians 6; 12-19. You cannot be praying for a husband/wife and be sleeping with a man/woman that is not your spouse and expect God to answer you, it doesn’t work that way. Sin turns God far away from us so that he grant our request. If you want God to settle you in marriage, then live a holy life; it is the price you have to pay. Remember your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost, don’t defile yourself. Hebrews 13; 14.

Don’t see single-hood as a curse, rather see it as a blessing. Use your days as a single to build a strong and steady relationship with God because you may not have time for that after marriage. God will send your spouse at the right time according to his word in Isaiah 34; 16. What you do as a single can either make or mar your marriage, BE WISE.

Saturday, 7 October 2017

Awesome facts about sex you didn’t know

Human beings are naturally fascinated with sex; it’s a desire that God put in us at creation but many of us make the mistake of awakening it before its due time. These days we hear of casual sex, flings, one night stands and many other titles attached to sex. However, let’s take a moment to ask ourselves this question; are all this names the real reason God created sex? The real purpose why God created sex is to bring glory to his name but most times we do otherwise.

The act of sexual intercourse carries a lot of physical and spiritual significance that we tend to forget. Sex is not really something that should be done anyhow with just anyone. It is sacred and its sacredness is even portrayed in our different cultures. Let’s look at a few significance;

Ø  Sex is likened to a soul tie; what do I mean? God intended sex to be a union of two lives into one uniting with him (God) in a blood covenant; gen 2:24, 1 Corinthians 6:12-20. A covenant is an agreement done with blood and it’s not to be treated lightly. Sex ties your soul to your partner. Take a moment to ask yourself; do you want to tie your soul to just anyone? Do you want to tie your soul to multiple partners?

Ø  There is a transfer of spirit during sexual intercourse; when you have sex with someone, he/she owns a part of you and vice versa. A part of your spirit is transferred to that person while you receive a part of his own. We should take note that this transference includes both problems and virtues. In order words you can inherit problems through premarital sex, problems you wouldn’t have ever had otherwise. God intended this transfer for marriage alone and it happening outside marriage is dangerous.

Ø  Sex is a divine gift and as such shouldn’t be misused; everything God has given us including sex is good and is primarily for his glory. When you engage in premarital sex, you are not using God’s gift wisely and you stand a risk of enmity with him. Trust me; you don’t want that for yourself. Sex within the context of marriage is beautiful and glorifies God in its entirety.

Ø  Each time you have sexual intercourse with someone, you leave a part of yourself behind. The longer you engage in the act of premarital sex, the more you leave behind. How does that sound to you? As you go on and on you lose yourself until there is almost nothing left. So when you eventually find your special someone you are like an empty vessel.

Ø  Sex exposes you to a vulnerability that can only be covered for in marriage; in sexual intercourse you lose touch of your surroundings and get lost in the act. This makes you vulnerable to any kind of attack. That’s why God created marriage as an umbrella under which sex should exist. In marriage the Holy Spirit acts as a covering during sexual intercourse but outside marriage there is no covering and your soul is exposed. Therefore you are liable to attack whenever you engage in premarital sex so make your choice wisely.

Sunday, 24 September 2017


Many youths today in fact 70% of youths don't know how to differentiate between love and lust. They claim to know the difference but still they fall into the issue of mistaken identity again. Very few know the true meaning of love and as such it has been abused up to the point of almost losing its value. There's an old adage that says when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. Today guys/ladies say I love you without really meaning it. They say it to satisfy their lustful desires and as such ladies have learnt how to play along. A guy says 'I love you to a girl and she just scoffs while a lady says the same and the guy starts wondering if she's  after his money. No one is ready to entirely trust the other party and if things continue this way then the real meaning of love will be lost on us.

They are numerous definitions of love as everyone tends to define love based on his/her understanding, but lets look at what the bible has to say about it because that's the only true definition of love. In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul gave a list of the things that should classify love. If you claim to be in love and you don't portray these things or if your partner claims to love you and he doesn't show this fruits, then there is no love. According to the bible, love is patient, fruitful, kind, protecting and hopeful. Love never fails even though things get hard. Love is not self-centered. When you're in love, you consider the desires of your partner before your own.

Now what is lust? The bible also says a lot about lust, mostly in the book of proverbs. Lust is selfish. It is being with your partner just to satisfy your sexual desires. Lust never ends well because it comes mostly from a sinful heart and has selfishness, disrespect and lack of self-control as its foundation. It involves putting your desires first without giving a second thought to the person your lusting after. It breeds lies and deceit and a relationship based on lust will not lead to anything.

Love is very different from lust; in love your heart sees the other person as your focus while in lust your heart sees yourself as your focus. True love is driven by a godly desire to provide for, to nurture and care for another person’s needs while lust seeks to satisfy your own sinful sexual passions. Remember God is love and for you to truly love, you must have him in you.

So ask yourself today; are you in love or in lust? Do you have the creator of love in you?  Are you selfless towards your partner or selfish towards them? Answer these questions truthfully and you will know which of them best classifies  your relationship.